To You, Always
by Farewells
Summary: / - And Barry Allen knows, there will come a day, when he'll have to choose between risking the fate of both their worlds, and the chance to see Kara Danvers for just one more day. - / In which they're madly in love and more, but are separated by worlds and dimensions apart.
1. Prologue

**A/n:** More information in the first proper chapter.

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 **Prologue**

"I've missed you," she whispered after a long while, her head buried into the curve of his neck, so softly he barely heard.

There was something painfully solemn behind her words, and he understood precisely why; perhaps they were the only two that ever would.

She slid into the space between his arm and ribs, pressing herself up against him in the warmest of cuddles.

"I wish we could stay like this forever. You, me, here."

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Me too."

But they both knew he couldn't. Not now, not forever.

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Their worlds are held apart by invisible strings; of barriers and pillars vibrating at different resonances, preventing the worlds from impacting upon a course of direct collision. But upon each of Barry Allen's visits, the strings are stretched thin, and the barriers and pillars shake as a result of his forceful intrusion into her world.

His abilities went against the force of nature, and as a result of his defiance, there came the repercussions.

Left alone, the strings will hold. But to continue traveling between those worlds, would be to doom them all into a path of direct collision.

And Barry Allen knows, as he sees how peaceful, how beautiful she is, that there will come a day, where he'll have to choose between risking the fate of two worlds, and seeing Kara Danvers for just one more day.

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	2. Chapter 1

**A/n:** I've initially planned for this story to be one of those "5+1" types, revolving around the concept of "The five times Barry Allen visited and the one time he stayed."

My original chapter of this story, was a more adult version of one of his visits, which fits well the whole "5+1" scenes.

But, I've decided to go in a completely different direction. Instead of my original plans, I've decided to turn this into a fully fledged story, so there were things I had to change. The first chapter felt extremely out of place, so I've removed it (for now), and replaced it with a simple prologue. It'll return, eventually, when it feels right.

Anyways, for the newer readers, the idea behind the story is where Barry visits Kara every half a year to a year's time, basically a long period between each trip. It's kind of like an inter-dimensional love affair, but there are certain factors keeping them from being together, and it brings a lot of angst and uncertainty into their relationship.

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 **Chapter: 1  
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It was time for the annual inaugural ball of CatCo Worldwide Media, a yearly celebration of Cat Grant's reign as queen of the media world. It was a time of festive and cheer, a night of drunken celebration and awkward dancing; there was but only a single problem, Kara, well, she did not have a date. James Olsen was attending the ball with Lucy, and Winn was attending an important tech conference on the other end of the continent.

Alex offered to use the DEO's databases to vet through potential male colleagues and find her a date, and due to how persistent her older sister was, Kara was almost afraid she would. Eventually, after insisting that she was fine on her own, and that many of her friends were attending dateless as well, Alex conceded in her attempts, and Kara attended the ball by herself.

It was a warm December's evening, a few days short of the coming New Year. Kara was never comfortable with heels, not when she could run hundreds of miles in minutes without. But then again, it was a formal party, and Kara was equally uncomfortable in her adorning blue dress. It fitted perfectly her willowy frame, a striking elegance matching the softened blues of her eyes. She wore minimal makeup, her hair tied into a bun, and there was no forgetting her trademark glasses; she was in every way, a picture of modest sophistication, nothing overboard, but still beautiful, in an enchanting way.

The conference hall at CatCo was turned into a ballroom of sorts for this particular night, and heads were turned as she made her way into the growing party. Most of the attendees had already arrived, and before long, they were gathered at the podium while Cat Grant gave her usual end-of-the-year speech. Glasses of champagne were sent out, and even though she was entirely immune to the alcoholic effects, Kara quickly downed more than a few glasses to count.

The night progressed slowly, and Kara found herself spending most of her time stuffing her face with food at the caterer's table. Everyone she talked to, even the ones who told her they were coming alone, had a date.

She felt like a flickering light-bulb, an annoying third wheel. Two hours in, and no one even asked her to dance; it was embarrassing and a little bit pathetic.

Kara was hogging the buffet line, going for her third serving of shrimp when she felt the gentlest of taps on her shoulder.

"May I have the dance?"

The crowd was bustling with conversation, and the music was slightly blaring, drowning out most of the speaker's voice.

But it was familiar, somehow.

Her heart swelled with excitement; finally, amongst the throngs of attendees, there was finally someone willing to ask her for a dance. She turned, looking exceptionally unglamorous with the plate of half eaten shrimp still on hand.

"Yes, I woul-"

Her breath caught, and she felt the all too familiar tightening of her chest at his presence. She blinked, followed by a few more. But he remained, and it was clear that it wasn't the effects of all the champagne she downed; they did not affect her that way.

Barry Allen stood in front of her, dressed in a most immaculate suit - a hand extended in her direction, an invitation to dance.

She accepted his hand - and there was a blur of red.

They stumbled onto CatCo's rooftop, greeted by the dazzling night sky, the faraway stars shining upon the busy National City skyline. They were completely alone, and she found herself pressed up against him, slightly out of breath, their fingers still in a soft entwine.

"You told me before," he started to say, "that you've always preferred our moments to be just the two of us."

He looked around the deserted floor, "Well, there's only you and me now."

She nodded, her head pressing up against his chest. He was taller than she was, and as her arms reached behind him and squeezed him just a little closer, she could hear the growing thumps of his heart. With her sensitive hearing, they were as clear as day, and she was smiling, because she knew hers must be the same.

They swayed lightly in the night time breeze; neither of them were good dancers, but as of this moment, nothing else existed but the two, and there was no place she'd rather be.

He was humming, a tune she recognized as a song from his world. She remembered how bewildered, and slightly broken-hearted he was, when she told him there was no "Katy Perry" in her world. Between his shower singing sessions and karaoke dates, she had quickly learned to sing along, and it was that the two of them did – the empty rooftop, their music, their dance.

It was short, but the memory was forever lasting.

"The last time I was over, I saw your invitation in the mail," he explained when their dance ended. "You told me last year you didn't have a date for the previous dances, and I knew you didn't ask only because it was too soon between trips, so I thought I would surprise you by visiting.

"But… it's only been four months," she said, "that means..."

"Yes," he said softly. "I can't stay. Not tonight."

He looked towards the night sky, and even with her microscopic eyesight, there were things only Barry Allen could see.

"The Speedforce," he sighed, "it rumbles in my presence, and the barriers of your world can barely hold its weight."

There was nothing she loved more than his visits, but she knew with each cheerful greeting, comes a woeful farewell.

She whispered, "Does that mean…"

He nodded solemnly. "It's going to be awhile before I can see you again, Kara."

They were quiet for the longest time.

"I'm going to miss you, Barry Allen," she said quietly. There was no mistaking the underlining emotions behind her whispered words.

His voice trembled, "I'm going to miss you too, Kara Danvers, more than anything else in this world, my world and the next."

They were quiet again, the stars above a solemn company.

She saw the way his eyes suddenly darted to the side, and heard the nervous beat of his heart.

She knew he had to leave, so she said suddenly, "Kiss me."

"Hmm?" he looked back towards her, surprised.

"Before you go," Kara smiled, "kiss me."

"Of course," Barry Allen chuckled, and his hands pressed warmly against her cheeks, pulling her close as their lips met. He kissed her softly, lingeringly, carefully, then again, and again, and again, and all of her conflicting thoughts, her apprehension, her fear, dissolved at their closing embrace. What remained, was something vividly pure, and overwhelmingly painful in its inevitability.

Her breath caught, and he noticed. He pulled away, eyes filled with concern.

"I'm… I'm okay," she was breathing harder than usual, and tears, a most unfamiliar sensation, were threatening to fall.

She wiped at her eyes, "There's just something in my-"

And she realized, his were of a misty green.

But he was smiling, and as he kissed her again, everything else felt alright once more.

"I will come back," he pressed his forehead against hers. "I swear to you, I will."

He was adamant, and his fists were clenched so tightly she could see knuckles bearing white. "I will find a way, even if both worlds stand to hold us apart. I will find a way back to you"

She nodded, the lump in her throat preventing her from saying anything more.

"Because Kara, when I run," he smiled, "I run to you, always."

It was time to go.

"Goodbye, Kara Danvers."

"Goodbye, Barry Allen."

There was a streak of red, and she was alone once more, her dress fluttering slightly in the midnight's chill.

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	3. Chapter 2

**A/n:** Thank you for the kind reviews.

If you do not understand what I mean by "painful inevitability of heartbreak," it's because the time it takes between each trip is growing, and each trip is shorter than the previous; they both know and understand that his time is limited, and that one day, he might no longer be able to visit.

Thus, inevitability and heartbreak.

Which now that I think of, is an awesome title too.

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 **Chapter: 2  
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Barry Allen turned towards her, his eyes a gentle green upon the ebbing reach of evening's glow. They laid next to the other, her head resting on his arm, her own draped loosely across his chest. They had found themselves an empty spot deep within the forests of National City Park; a quiet little corner grazed by autumn's touch; vibrantly beautiful and serene.

Other than the presence of nature's magnificence, the two were completely, and utterly, alone. It's been almost half a year since their last encounter, and it was almost another half year too long for either one of them. He reached over - a finger lightly brushing against her forehead, pushing away a stray lock of hair. She shivered lightly at the contact, the touch of bare skin sending thrills of electricity down her spine; and she was quite sure it wasn't just because of his metahuman abilities.

"I missed you," he said softly, and he meant every bit of it; more-so than he could say in a single sentence.

But she understood, every part of him; his thoughts, his emotions; the longing he felt, the yearning; the painful inevitability of heartbreak only they could ever experience – she understood, because they were one, in both spirit, heart and more.

"I missed you too," she cupped onto the hand that curled alongside her cheek and nestled into his touch. "Ten months and twenty seven days, is it embarrassing that I kept count?"

"Actually, you've not factored in interdimensional-daylight-saving, so that makes it ten months and twenty eight days," he pointed out before adding in sheepishly, "which is not embarrassing, I knew only because I kept track too."

"We're both embarrassing," she laughed, "I counted the days using Cat Grant's schedule planner. I would have no idea what to say if she were to ask what the numbers are for."

"Well, I'm in no better situation than you are," he chuckled, "I count the days with one of the whiteboards they've provided at work. Imagine if a detective stumbles across my work and mistakes it for an elaborate crime scene analysis. I'll have absolutely no idea how to explain otherwise."

They laughed, and were quiet for awhile.

"Three hundred and thirty one days," she said softly afterwards, "that is roughly a hundred fifty days more than our previous meeting… I almost thought that you…" she paused and looked away, unable to meet his gaze, "when the days just went by, longer and longer, I started to think that-… I always knew there was a possibility of you never coming bac-… I thought you weren't coming back."

"I-… Kara," he said in an almost pleading manner, "please, don't ever think that way." He exhaled softly, but the thoughts that plagued them both could not be released as easily as air. "I know it's painful, but don't give up on us… don't give up on me."

Her gaze returned to his, and beneath the gathering clouds of uncertainty, he saw the undying trust and faith she had for him; and it pained him even more – because he knew, beyond a doubt, if there came a day he could no longer travel between worlds, she would continue waiting for him - unwavering, like the love they have for one another. "Never."

"I will never give up on you, Barry Allen."

And he knew it destroys her too, the same uncertainty of never seeing him again; to never know if it was because of a falling out, an accident, or even him losing his powers. It was a painful void of incertitude, and the longer they held on, the sweeter – yet the more excruciating the crossing of distances become.

They were quiet for a long while, and he suddenly spoke, no longer able to keep his thoughts still.

"I- I can't lose you, Kara," he stuttered, "I can't imagine a world – worlds, without you."

"I am no better than the villains that I've fought, perhaps much worse… and it makes me afraid, of not just never seeing you again… but afraid of what I would do given the chance." His lips parted, as though searching for the words to continue, "Because Kara… I'm selfishly and insufferably in love with you, and I know when the day comes, there is nothing I wouldn't do, no worlds I wouldn't risk, just to see you one more time."

His head drooped, but she caught him, her eyes brightly refusing his gloomy despair. "Oh Barry…" she whispered, her fingers brushing across the side of his face – pulling him closer, her lips pressing lightly against his. "I…" she breathed, their lips coming to a still, "love you too."

"I love you, Barry Allen." The first time they've told each other so. They both knew of their feelings a long time back, but they've always pushed it off – hiding behind the shield of inevitability and heartbreak.

And it was all the more harrowing; for she knew then, they were already too far lost, drowning in an abyss of inexorable heartbreak. They both knew it was never meant to be, but yet, at this moment, there was nothing she loved more than he.

She kissed him again – wildly and ferociously; desperately as though their passion, the contact of their lips would hold him forever still in her world – but she knew it wasn't so, and thus, she kissed him even harder.

She pushed him backwards – the two of them sprawling across softened grass. She tugged at his clothing and he did hers; she could barely think, her mind overwhelmed by her suffocating thoughts, and the growing throbs of coming pleasure.

She couldn't even remember how, but he was suddenly inside of her – full and warm, her body arching in response to his movements, shuddering and quivering as her nails clawed against his chest, pulling him further, deeper – a sensation, a feeling to remember, even in the days passed without Barry Allen.

It was exhilarating, and when it was over, she found herself curled up against him, feeling the gradual rising and falling of her chest matching his own.

She remembered the next few hours fondly, because they were the last she had with him for another long year.

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	4. Chapter 3

**A/n:** Added a little note in the second chapter.

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 **Chapter: 3**

"It's quite unfair," Barry Allen pointed out suddenly, as he picked up the framed photograph by Kara's bedside table. In the photograph, the two of them were smiling happily, their faces pressed together with puckered lips. It was a day he remembered clearly, back when nothing else mattered in this world but the two. "You get to keep such beautiful memories."

Kara's head popped out from beneath the blankets they shared, her fingers drowsily rubbing against her closed eyes. "What do you mean?" she asked in-between tired yawns.

"The pictures," he said, "you get to keep them." He paused for a second, carefully placing the glass frame back onto the bedside table. "Remember how I'm able to bring any object into your world, but I'm unable to bring anything back to mine? Well, the last time I tried bringing photographs of us back… same results, disintegration upon arrival."

The objects from his world can pass harmlessly into hers, but upon his return trips, everything else fully disintegrates – even the clothing he wore, which led to an extremely uncomfortable and naked situation during his first trip back - for him and the rest of S.T.A.R. labs. There was no scientific explanation for the unusual phenomenon, and they were no closer to solving its equation than the first time he travelled to her world.

He turned back towards her, "I'm-… it's just a little depressing, that when I return home, there's nothing left for me to remember you by, at least until my next trip… however far away that may be." He then added in wistfully, "And it's not like we have interdimensional Facebook, or something I can add you up on… actually, do you guys even have Facebook?"

She nodded, then whispered, "I'm sorry, I didn't know." Her hands slid up his chest and came to a stop by the side of his cheek, her fingers lightly brushing across the light stubble that curved his jaw.

"Don't worry," he smiled, his own hand cupping over hers, "I have my memories, and Kara, we make the best memories."

"We do," she quietly agreed, "we really do."

But even Barry Allen could not hide the visible pain in his eyes. It was at least half a year since his last visit, and between the tougher days and perpetual yearnings of his return, she at least had the photographs of them together.

He had nothing, but the fading memories of each bittersweet return.

Her hand left his chin, a soft trail down the blankets that shielded their naked forms. Her fingers slid past his naked chest, reaching behind him and pulling their bodies closer together. She pressed up against him, sliding into the space between both, their toes quickly touching, their chins greeting the other. She looked up, and his eyes warmly greeted hers, so closely she could see the mixed colors of his irises.

"Do you still remember?" she whispered, so softly, as though it was a secret shared only between the two, "what you said to me the last time?"

"We say a lot of things to each other, Kara," he replied, "but yes, I do remember all our conversations, no matter how little."

"Did you meant it?" she asked, her eyes shyly finding his.

"Of course, I do have a great memory," he said proudly, "I'm not photogenic, but-"

"No silly," she smiled, "I mean… when you said you love me."

He blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the suddenness of her question. He knew there were plenty of times he tried convincing himself otherwise, a pathetic attempt in saving them both from the inevitability of a sinking heartbreak.

There were many times he tried telling himself their relationship was nothing more than a dalliance of sorts – a short termed interdimensional love affair, an insignificant portion of their lives they'll learn to love, and be quick to move on and forget; for they belonged not to the other, but the laws of their own multiverse.

But Barry Allen knew, beyond anything else, and regardless of whichever world they were in, there was no possible way for him to convince himself otherwise, not when each little glance in her direction, filled him with the earnestness of their love – and for the first time in his life, with her by his side, he felt, more than anything else, complete.

"I do," he whispered, "with all of me."

"But-…" she looked away momentarily, terrified of the truth they both knew.

"And it's okay," he smiled, "even if the multiverse itself threatens to tear us apart, even if we don't end up together in the end, even if the day comes when I'm no longer able to travel to your world, and even if, in the years passed when we meet and fall in love with others, I will still, always, forever, and completely, love you, Kara Danvers."

She knew it was true; the both of them did, and it was all the more painfully heart breaking.

But at that moment, minutes before she knew he had to return, there was little else Kara wanted to do, but to remain snuggled up against the man she too, loved with all her heart, and a little bit more.

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